Yes, but you agreed to marry your horrible husband. Therapy might have helped you make a better decision there. Of course it wasn’t as available then or as good as it is now.
What happened to you was horrible and it wasn’t your fault- you were autistic and you had a breathtakingly abusive mother. It’s no wonder you learned to eschew relationships.
I just wanted to offer a general response to whomever might be interested or who might be on the fence about pursuing a relationship. It sounds like you are very happy with your life and I celebrate that for anyone.