Sigh. So much truth here. If only I could give this to my beloved family member with an abusive husband. She has decided that she is responsible for his happiness and keeps him “happy” at the expense of her own wellbeing and of everyone else’s. She can’t be reasoned with. And because he doesn’t hit her, she thinks his behavior must be accommodated.
This reality is all too common today. I’m glad that you have decided to cut your abusive father out of your life. You stopped him from completely ruining it and destroying the self- esteem of your daughters.
From what you have written about your wife, though, I think she would have given him back everything he tried to dish out and more!