I hear you. I hope you will heal.
And you can win. He’s the loser, not you.
I felt like my life was over after I left my abusive husband. It took me a few years, but I started to thrive once I was free of his destructive influence.
I don’t know how old you are, but life is long. You can feel whole again. I am in my 60s and have never been happier.
Let living well be your revenge on that bastard.