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Humans Live in a Fantasy World
We can’t help it.
I was reading an article on Medium about a week ago on transgender issues. One of the commenters had a startling take: he said that as a psychotherapist he refused to call one of his female transgender patients by her preferred pronouns, because she was living in a “fantasy of a female body” and he couldn’t validate that.
Other commenters predictably attacked this comment for its harshness and inhumanity. I found myself objecting to the refusal to use pronouns, while at the same time agreeing with the fantasy part of his comment.
Hear me out.
I am against transphobia. I use all-gender public restrooms without discomfort or resentment. I have transgender people in my family and community and I am happy to use whatever pronouns they like. As a high school teacher I taught a number of transgender students over the years, and I hope I never made any of them feel excluded or belittled for their lack of traditional gender conformity.
I do not understand why a therapist would insist on this kind of authoritarianism and disrespect. It costs nothing to validate people’s chosen identity and it benefits society as a whole to be inclusive, welcoming and equitable.
My nephew, formerly my niece, lives his life as a man, with a decidedly male…
