Human nature is far from benign. We create our own problems and often refuse to take responsibility for our actions. It seems to me like very few people are able to break out of this destructive pattern. This somewhat cynical opinion comes from 60-plus years of observing human behavior, not from any psychological training.
You seem like a truly dedicated healer who wants to make a difference. It is quite inspiring to read about your struggles. Hang in there-you are probably helping even more than you think.