Having Narcissistic Parents Makes it Difficult to Maintain Friendships

My best friends are all in my family.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

For many people, friendships are the lifeline.

Friendships are great. I have enjoyed many great friendships in my life. Many of them blossomed from my years as a high school English teacher. Working and collaborating with dedicated colleagues led to wonderful and supportive relationships.

For others, friendships are fraught with danger.

It’s my family I Zoom with every week. My family who’s on speed dial on my phone. Family whom I’ve made solid plans to get together with once travel is allowed.

Nevertheless, families are often hotbeds of narcissism, unconsciousness, and unhealthy power dynamics.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Some parents never grow up, but they force their children to grow in unexpected ways.

My parents remained children for their entire lives. Children who were somehow the parents of three, four, and then five children. The last one was born and taken in when I was eighteen years old and my parents were thirty-nine.

Families split and then come back together in ways that friends often can’t.

So why am I so much more into family than friends? It might seem like a contradiction. A paradoxical conundrum.

Awareness and inner work are the key

What I do have is my selective but mostly nonchosen family. My best friends are, in no particular order, my husband, my daughter, my sister, one of my three younger brothers, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law and one of my cousins.

Gratitude and humility also come in as forces of healing.

Or gratitude for how lucky they were to be born into a loving, healthy family. People who do not harshly judge people who weren’t.

Mother, Teacher, wife, food lover, spiritual searcher.

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