Asking a woman why she stayed is not inconsistent with asking a man why he abused. A woman who accepts bad treatment needs to self reflect as well. And she is much more likely to do this than an abusive man. When we start asking ourselves this question we start to heal and get out of the situation. I have been there. I stayed with an abuser for over a decade. When I started to get fed up with myself as well as angry at him, I found the courage to leave. I should have left sooner and my daughter bears the scars to this day over 20 years later.
It’s our responsibility to stop nurturing our feeling s of hurt and take action, perhaps by getting therapy.
By all means ask yourself and women you care about, “Why don’t you leave?”